Gut On!

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Bob all happened today to be true. Bits and pieces at best. After getting home last night for about 3 bells, I was way too tired to write a blogaruu. Bad call being honest. For whatever reason, I find writing of any sort flows far better at night rather than through the daylight hours. So, once I woke up today, I cracked into the blogaruu about that pie-ball nut from last night, and the morning disappeared. And by morning, I mean from about 12 to quarter to one. Which meant it was obviously time for lunch. I honestly think that the most productive thing that I accomplished today, was writing out my to-do list for the week. Not doing anything on the list. Just writing it out. Sloooow day. Still though, after the impromptu gig last night, I wasn’t as guilty as I might otherwise have been. 

Actually, I did manage to accomplish one thing of note today. I emailed my publisher a few name suggestions I thought of as the working title for my book. I came up with about 5 I think, one controversial last minute one (controversial at a stretch really) but I think I already know which one I’ll go with anyways. However, if any avid reader has any suggestions which they think would suit the book to a tee, i.e incorporating L.A and Irish factors, feel free to let me know. If it is used, you will get a funbelievable prize in return! 

I meant to blog about this yesterday, but seeing as that blogaruu was so long, the paragraphs had to be culled. Instead, I’ll do it now, as it may come in handy to anyone who ever might be in a similar position. That is, last Friday I was trying to suss out, what it is exactly I should be aware about as far as a book contract goes. And, seeing as it was a contract, binding and all, the real details needed, not just an outline. What is the norm for me to expect from the publisher, and what is the norm that they should ask of me. Those kinds of things. For once, Google did not help me out as much as it has before. Usually, whenever I hit a wall with an unknown area, Google would pop up with an answer of some form. Whether it is acting info, L.A tips, writing self-help, any of those, Google has delivered the goods. (On a quick side note, how well is the acting side progressing at the moment? Only magnificent! On ice until L.A.)

This time around, however, good old reliable Google gave me far too broad answers, which were really not that helpful. A constant barrage of noise was being showered at me, with nothing at all specific. For example, when you read that some writers get no money for their first book up front, whereas other unknown writers have been paid $2.5 million for their first book, it made me wonder where my $1.5 million advance really stood. Should I not try to be pushing the boat out there, and get $3 million?! After trying many, many, many different websites, none really gave me any clear help. In fact, it just made things worse. Especially seeing as a lot of the websites I found, mentioned literary agents so much. Which led me to think, should I get an agent? But why would I get an agent, when I already got a book deal? Is that not like paying someone for help, when you have helped yourself already? What does an agent really do, book wise?

All sounds a bit pointless and over the top now I think back about it, but at the time, it made sense to think these through. When I found an Irish website that looked potentially helpful, I contacted them to get some information. They kindly sent me an email back, saying to download their application form to become a member, send a cheque for €50, it would be discussed in a few weeks at the next committee meeting, and then after I got accepted, they could give me the information I needed. The information being more or less a yes or no answer. Sounded like a great plan, thanks for that. Just let me find my cheque book and we’ll be good to get this quick procedure underway. Good duck to that.

It came as a bit of a surprise to me where I got my helpful information from. Well considering similar attempts acting wise in the past. This time around people were far more helpful and forthcoming with information. Those folk being different writing contacts I could think of here in Ireland. Took me a while, but I scrambled a few different leads together. Other people who I came across that had been in a similar situation, friend of a friend, colleagues of writers in Irish newspapers. Mucho gracias to them again, if any might be reading. Managed to get nuggets of information from about 4 different sources. Hooking with me up the details I needed to know, facts and figures, potential pitfalls, put things into perspective. And, being honest, it all made me realize what my gut was telling me all along. That it was all good. Sometimes you just have to Google off, and gut on! No harm in double checking though.

Remixaruu…

Radiohead

Reckon A Superstar (Remix) – Radiohead feat. Lupe Fiasco

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Clueless

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Off the top of my head, odd things which I have a slight clue about, is how to speak conversational Cantonese, particularly if you’re a taxi man from Hong Kong, and I have a clue how to dismantle, clean, and operate a Naval machine gun. Pretty strange I suppose, only 2 I can think of at the moment. On the other hand, one bizarre thing which I am completely clueless about, is how exactly the acting side of the business works in Ireland. Specifically, how one might go about trying out a few auditions, just to get some practice. Not a notion. Are there any? Where might they be? Not a clue. In L.A, obviously enough, providing you have a visa and all, auditions, how to submit yourself, open calls etc. can be easily found in abundance. However, in Ireland, as far as I can tell, there seems to be nothing. As in, nothing. I am confident that I am actually wrong. However, after a fruitless few attempts today trying to figure it out, I have come to the conclusion that there is nada.

Who do you ask? Unfortunately, for a change, it seems not Google. He will not deliver as well as he usually does. And when you don’t know too many people in the acting business (t.v or film sides anyways), Google might be your first and last call. Maybe if you’re looking for a course in acting, Google can hook you up. If you want the websites for the Irish Film Board, the Irish Film Centre, or anything like that, Google will deliver. “Acting auditions in Ireland” or some similar term typed might hook you up with an audition in Iowa, and other parts of America, for some reason, but not much in Ireland. Not the most helpful. The best I got was a list of casting agencies in Ireland, that either never existed, or that most seem to no longer be in business.

I know as well, that if you were young, just out of school maybe and wanted to start acting from scratch in Ireland, there’s the whole doing an acting course, getting in some theatre work, moving up the ladder that way, doing it as something on the side and wading it out for a big break. Which, it seems, if you stay in Ireland and hope to get, the most you might muster in the movie world is to be an extra on the set of War of the Buttons, or The Wind That Shakes The Barley. Better still, you might end up being an extra for something even bigger, like Braveheart or along those lines. Which would be good to say to people, I suppose. If I was 16.

Do a course, join a theatre group, start that way. Or, be an extra, along with thousands of others, hoping that you will be plucked out of the crowd for your ability to stand around better than others. And pray you then make an impression. Preferably a good one. As you might gather from these scenarios, I don’t really have a clue. Either way, neither of the two above are really great options. Neither are really options if I’m being honest. Not for me at least while I am back in Ireland.

I remember the one full time actress I spoke to since I have been back, told me that if you want to do any acting in Ireland, t.v or film work anyways, you need to go to London. Apparently you have a far better chance of getting an audition for a show even like Fair City, if you were based in London, than if you were based in Dublin. Which is very heartening to know. Especially when you’re mostly based in Cork while you wait to hopefully sort out a visa back to L.A. Her beliefs proved to be spot on after my attempts today. In this day and age, if the information is not online, then it is probably looking dodge. At least now I am a bit more clued in. Slightly. Acting will have to be kept on ice for a while. 

With that in mind, I turned my attentions back to writing today. As I’ve said before, you can thankfully do that anywhere. In theory anyways. Preferably, I’d like to do it in places where the inspiration is over-flowing, i.e not really here. Still though, with a combination of perseverance and dedication, along with some weird thing called patience, that mental barrier can be overcome. At least, thats the great advice Google provided me with today. He would not leave me hanging in the writing department! Go on the Google!!!

Song on…

The Big Pink

Dominos – The Big Pink

Useless

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Seeing as this is the 58th post, I feel it should be marked with a celebration. As all things 58 should be. So I will celebrate by giving you some useless random information. Mucho gracias to all those who are reading the blog regularly, the numbers are climbing steadily, almost up to 5 people a week now, ha. The cool thing about the blog is that the stats page shows you amount of readers per day, what they clicked to get to the website, what google searches were used etc. However, yesterday, two irregular, peculiar ones popped up. First one was funny in fairness… “Is Mark Heyes gay?” Good spelling by whoever it was, I hope Google gave them the answer.

The second one is highly odd and a bit disturbing. This is it, word for word…”guys changing room” rape “gay porn”. Seriously. So I Googled this to see what came up, as it was way weirder than other random searches people might stumble onto the blog from (e.g guy picks up mexicans in truck). And what came up number one in the Google search when I typed this in…? My blog!!! For funk’s sake, great stuff to be associated with really. Something like free gay porn and rape fantasy were second and third on the list. That’s great. (Apparently my post about 24 Hour Fitness tipped the search in my favour, lucky me).

Another bit of random information I got last night was in the acting class with the savage teacher, he is miles ahead of everyone else I have been to so far. Plus his stories are good. One of the nutters in the class wanted to do a scene where he got fully stripped, for no apparent reason. So, the teacher used this story as an example.

Apparently, in the movie “Romeo & Juliet”, Baz Luhrmann wanted Marlon Brando to play the priest (eventually played by the Irish actor, who now that I check is actually English, Pete Postlethwaite). Brando agreed to do it, Luhrmann was delighted, until it came time to shoot. Brando decided the priest would only work if he was naked for every scene doing it, more effect. Luhrmann said no, he didn’t want a big fat Brando on the screen for no reason. Brando said he would only do it if he was naked, Luhrmann said good duck to you then sir. So, the moral of the story… only get naked for a reason!

In case you have not yet realized, I am writing this short post for a reason. It’s a filler, a quick fix to the 5 readers until I get time to write the longer one about the acting class I went to last night. I just don’t have the time now. I think it may be good too, seeing as it involves sweating, s**t, Tropic Thunder style characters, losing German friends, and a man date. So I didn’t want to rush it now.

If anyone is on Twitter as well, follow on!!! I am slowly getting addicted to it, plus it gives me something to text when I’m in a club with Andy and Colin and need to look busy. Here’s a song that pops into my head every time I think of Twitter… Rockin Robbin by The Jackson 5