July – Mundy
Bleak. Reek. Eek. What a week. Funk me, eh, peek.
So I’m out Sunday night doing stand-up in a placed called Flappers out in Burbank. Sound people in charge. No apeness. No ridiculousness going on back stage. All good. First time doing a gay centric show. Didn’t realise it was one until it began. The name – Beyond The Rainbow – should’ve given it away. I thought they were having an Irish/leprechaun/pot of gold kind of night. Nay. Gay. Good old hoot. Gay folk know how to banter. Not many Americans do. Gay folk embrace. Funny at it too. Might be the fact they’re free so fine with taking the piss. Who knows. Only thing is if you banter too much with them the sexual innuendos start flying out a tad too much in the same way as trying it with American girls. Good hoot at first but if you do it too much it makes them believe you want to hop in bed together. Which is not really the point of banter. Which is why you can only really banter with straight guys. Which is unfortunate in America. As 98.9% don’t know how and 1% think they know but then ruin it by asking “Just so I know, we’re bantering, right?” Go on the .1%!
Anyway, fun show. Except my feck of a friend felt a tad ill. Presumed it was just a delayed hangover of some sort. Bantered on. Getting old. Can’t handle your booze. Ah you’ll be grand. And then the puking began. Didn’t really stop. All night. Monday morn, still goosed. Hmm. Maybe not a hangover. Maybe something else. Just keep chugging water, I say. That’ll fix it. So I force feed water. Google symptoms. And pretend to know what I’m on about.
As it turns out another buddy needed go to the hospital for a check up for her previously broken ankle. Flaring up. Can barely walk. Needs a hand. Feck #1, too goosed. Feck me, steps in. Off to the hospital with feck #2. Wait. Wait. Wait. X-ray. Wahey! Done. Dancing. Home. Find feck #1 half dead on the floor. Oh Jesus. Dehydrated. Goosed. Puked. (Apparently my force feeding of water was nay a good idea. Just makes you puke more, as opposed to rehydrate.) Time to hit up the ER again. Two times a lady in one day. Back to Cedar Sinai. Wait. Wait. Wait. Nurse comes along. Nods her head. Tells us to wait another hour. Wait. Wait. Wait. Five hours later. Doctors do some magical work with ivy. Hook her up to it or something. Replenish. Refresh. Release.
Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Call me Mr. Nurse. Back to full health. Slowly but surely, le feck is cured. Wuu huu!
Good news: My mighty feck of a friend is almost fully recovered from mysterious illness.
So now I’m back. Available. Ready. You know, let’s go! Call me, stupid.
Interesting news (from a narcissistic standpoint): Despite me taking four days off work to tend and mend, the world somehow did not end.
This has floored me. Surely that cannot be?! Am I that insignificant? Wasn’t like a planned break so all my work was done in preparation beforehand. This was an emergency. Out of the blue. Code red! You’d think a lot of people’s lives would be thrown out of loop COMPLETELY. You’d think, but you’d be wrong. Not one phone call. Not one “Where are you?” Not one life affected. At all. What. The. Funk? Does the world not know who I am?! Nay. Didn’t even have to cancel one meeting or appointment. Tut. What a weak work week.
Although I did have one mighty phone call. And I do know it goes from highs to lulls. Summers always seem to be lull time for me. School and university appear to have me conditioned. Also goes to show how much of the work to be done is down to me just doing it. No boss. Just the annoying voice in the back of my head to deal with. Plus I am actually working on something that requires me being alone to write it and the likes. So having this lull period is ideal but seeing as I am a complete ape at times, I obviously have to get antsy that I’m missing out on something. However, for the sake of my story, let’s all ignore these things and simply ponder:
How did the world survive without me?
I really do not know.
Now – How aboot some jokes to end this weak work week? Yay!
I always seem to cry when I brush my teeth. Bit of a tooth fairy, huh, yeah. #BaDum
What do you call a wealthy guy from Ireland? Irich. #BaDum
The building I live in has got so many issues. It’s an apartment complex. #BaDum
Sail Away (Digitalism Remix) – The Rapture
Do You Mind (Derek Walin Remix) – The xx
Let Us Stay Young – Lucas Nord vs. Urban Cone
Sleep Alone – Two Door Cinema Club
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