It’s Like Living The Life, You Know, Unreal…

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Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen

So my younger sister Sarah has been in L.A for the past week. Finishing off her J1 summer. Final hurrah in L-Hey. Usually I dodge like a duck when people are in town. Tour guide duties are a full-time job. Single parent duties and all that. Plus, sometime people seem to demand to be entertained by LA. Not able to relax until they’ve spotted a celebrity. And then it’s not good enough for their celeb standards… Meh, I’ve seen better. Only Brad Pitt. It’d be different if we bumped into someone like Justin Bieber. Oh yeah, sorry about that. Or else folk go out of their way not to be impressed, no matter how impressive. Until they finally just give in and admit to enjoy it. However, being my wonderful sister and all, I said OK so, you can stay with me. Here’s a tent and a pillow, sleep down by the pool.

All jokes aside, it has been mighty having her here. Splendid breath of fresh air. First of all, she’s chilled. Duck to water. Secondly, she’s not too cool to enjoy things. No Daria complex. Thirdly, she loved every minute of it. Everything was unreal. Everything was eye-openingly amazing. Everything made it the best week of her life, like. All of which reminded me: LA. Is. Savage. Continue Reading »

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No Diggity – Chet Faker 

Tough week. Realised a few things. Such as: My ability to make women puke is still going strong. Take yesterday. Setting up to DJig. Girl comes over to me. Big. Drunk. Mexican. (Big as in overweight. Drunk as in demented. Mexican as in Meximerican.) Stands in front of me. Starts pointing. Swaying. Pointing. Slurring. ‘You’rrrre verrree goood luuk inn.’ Why thank you. Suddenly her head dips. And then she pukes all over her own feet. Delightful. Looks back up at me. Smiles. And before I could ask if she was OK, she puked again. Beautiful. Thankfully her friends carried her off (with one oddly rubbing her breasts the entire time. Giving me dirty looks when I looked at her do so. Is that a girl thing?)

More good news: My ability to make girls Continue Reading »