Free The RanDumber Chapter – Yee Huu!

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Because The Night – Patti Smith

Chapter 19

First. Ever. Shhh…

Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of the crust? The heel. You know, the start and end parts of a loaf of bread. Whichever name you want to call that rose. Lot of folk don’t like it at all. But I’m a fan. Particularly when it’s toasted. Tasty. As. Funk!

So when I went to prepare a celebratory meal for myself last night, I did not mind that all I had left was one slice of bread crust. Horsed it into the toaster. Checked the fridge. What else do I have for this fine meal? Hmm. Fridge. Bare. Naked. Tut. Although, I do have two baby tomatoes left. Wonderful. Anything else? Sniff. Balls. Toast. Burning. Burnt. Ah Jiminy. Not to worry, I shall make do. Nothing can sour this mighty celebration!

In the end, I had: One burnt slice of toast. Two sliced tomatoes. And. A glass of gin, to wash it all down. Mmhmmm. Tasty. Horsed it into me. Two bites. Two chugs. Gone. Quite the feast. Quite the celebrations. Standing in my kitchen. Alone. In my underwear. Betsy. Momentous occasion! Rejoice! Could’ve been a burnt sock for all I care. Especially as moments earlier I had finally finished a full draft of my first ever book. Wuu huu!

Rambling. Boney. Skeleton. The first draft.

According to Hemingway: The shit one.

Or as a clown might say: Continue Reading »

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Land Of Perplexion

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Recently I’ve been asked to do a couple of articles for Irish publications of various sorts. Big shot. Huge. Ape. Massive. All asking for the same angle. Life in L.A. Along with a few photos. No worries. Jot down a few adventures. Shillings. Hook me up. Not realising that they all actually meant something else. Celebrities you’ve met in L.A. Along with a few photos of these celebrities. Oh right. Sounds fun. Broke the news that I’ve being living in a cave for a few weeks. So wrote them an article about all the celebrities I didn’t get to meet. Told me they’d wait until I emerged. Friday night has led me to believe that perhaps I might not be the most perceptive kind of ape to do these articles. Continue Reading »

Hang On, The Hangover?

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Isn’t that an ingenious title?! No? Thank you, only took me 2 songs to think of it. Anyways, I know I am about a year late, but I finally saw The Hangover tonight. And, to be honest, even though I was hoping it was going to live up to the hype, I thought it fell a bit short. Too many people saying it was too funny and over hyping it a bit up too much. Although it is probably the funniest movie of the summer and all that.

Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was good, especially compared to other recent-ish comedies, but it wasn’t really hilarious. In fact, thinking back about it, there were only a few funny-funny parts. Not a lot of really hilarious scenes though. More just Vegas incidents, tiger in the bathroom, perhaps, as an example. It is nowhere near as good as a Superbad, or the likes, in my opinion at least. I went to see Superbad two days in a row in the cinema with buddies who thought it was equally as good. Chumps? Maybe. Was it worth going again? Definitely.

Tonight as we left the cinema, myself and my buddy were banding around a few quotes from the movie. Or trying to, at least. I think we got as far as one, the pronunciation of retard, ha, which was funny. Think of other movies though, Superbad or Old School for example. A plethora of funny quotes pop into my head straight away (pick any of Frank the Tank’s or any scene from Superbad). Maybe that’s just me, but I couldn’t think of a lot from The Hangover. Which is probably why I think it was over-rated. The fat guy is obviously brilliant and the main guy makes a good lead, but the other parts don’t really shine as much as I thought they would. I think the guy who lost a tooth is brilliant in The Office, but here not as much, only a few laughs? I almost laugh at every line he says in The Office.

Now that I think about other parts, the Chinese guy was kind of funny, but not top dollar, more of a ha, than a proper laugh. Compared to how it turned out in the movie, the Tyson punch looked way funnier in the trailer. What made me leave thinking the movie was initially better than it might’ve have been, were the photos in the end credits. Especially after the boring wedding ending (bar the singer in the band part). The photos just made me think that it would have been some laugh to have made that movie… in Vegas, surrounded with all Vegas has to offer, how could it not have been good?! No wonder they all looked so pleased. 

Anyways, there is a point to me being so critical of a good (but not great) movie. It has spurred me on with the dumb belief that I could do better. I know you might be thinking that I sound like an ape or an arrogant fool, but if I don’t have the faith that I can write a better movie than that, then who will have the dumb faith?!! Bold statement, all I need to do now is shut up and deliver. It will come, we all have a “Good Will Hunting” in us. Believe!

Besides that, kind of related today, was the news that I know now when my visa appointment is to find out do I get my fancy new visa approved. Touch wood. About 3 weeks away for the appointment, so I kind of have a deadline-ish to produce one polished and hilarious script at the very minimum. Deadline all the way. Finally this limbo land living has an end on the horizon!

Has to be done, a few of the best parts of Superbad…

Rainbow Bridge

Big Wave Rider – Rainbow Bridge

I Could Do That

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Oddly, I’m not really a fan of weekends as much as I used to be. I don’t really get the whole buzz about long weekends either. Particularly when it is raining the entire time. Maybe it is because I don’t toil away at a 9 to 5 job. While everyone else seemed to be freaking out what to do this long weekend – what are your plans, you must have plans, its the long weekend, you need a plan – it just kind of annoyed me a bit that it was one. In fact, I more or less live for the week these days. The reason being, is that when you are waiting to hear back about certain areas, or waiting for certain applications to go through, the weekend just pauses things even further while people are not at work. Prolong the time period and increases the state of limbo. Patience is something which I struggle to deal with still.

Seeing as so many people returned to magnificent Cork for the long weekend, a couple nights out were involved. Have to make the most of the long weekend and all that. So, not only was I not making progress hearing back from people about different things, I also did not make as much progress myself with writing as I would’ve liked. Dumb enough really. Very dumb in fact.

However, I did utilize good chunks of the weekend studying numerous sitcoms and movies. I need to get a better grasp on structures, and scene lengths, from the best sitcoms. Fawlty Towers, Seinfeld, The Office, 30 Rock and Curb Your Enthusiasm have been studied in depth for most of the weekend. One good thing about watching them with a slight hangover, is that if they can still make me laugh when I am that tired and drained, I know which parts stand out. I had forgotten as well how hilarious Superbad and The Big Lebowski are.

Seinfeld is still the cream of the crop for me, sitcom-wise. The way they can somehow weave and link so many random story lines together in half an hour is brilliant. None of the others since then really do it as well. Curb obviously is similar, but it does have the longer format, and more or less is following only one character. Anyways, in that regards, it has been a worthwhile weekend. Any time spent with Larry David is quality time.

When I just told someone, what I did for most of the weekend, I got a reaction I had forgotten about, but should’ve expected… “Thats all you did? What a waste of a long weekend” Yeah, what a waste. Then, the usual line “I could do that, thats not hard to do, anyone could do that, I am going to do that, I’ve been thinking about writing a book as well actually”. Good work, I have no doubt that you could do it. Please go and do it.

More so than the writing side of things, I notice this all the time when out DJ’ing in Cork. People who might have liked to DJ perhaps, come up to me highly disgruntled and like to say “You’re DJ’ing? Anyone could do that, that looks easy. I could do that shur.” I know you could. It is not rocket science. Instead of telling me how easy it all is though, just funk off and do it. Same goes for stand-up… “I think I should be doing that instead of you really. I’d be great at that. I’ve some great jokes. I could do that actually” Ha, please go do it so, I am not actually holding you back.

At least last night, a conversation in a similar vein with a randomer reminded me of something. Asking me was I going back to L.A to try acting again, how was it going and all that. Then, for some reason he got disgruntled, and descended into the whole “I could do that” spiel. I don’t think people actually even listen to the words they are saying when they like to tell me this unbelievable bit of insight. Most people can do almost anything if they wanted to, or at least try to do it. Isn’t that just amazing profound information to figure out! I never knew.

Anyways, as I left him staring into the bottomless pit of his pint glass, it did make me think of something. That is, I need to start getting into the acting side of things more. Now that I have some sort of training and all! Start going to a few auditions or the likes while I am back in Ireland. For practice if nothing else. I should do that really this week. Seeing as you need a plan for the short week. Plan on! And, as I am writing this gibberish, I just got an email about a meeting for Wednesday to get the ball rolling. Isn’t it amazing what one can do when you just shut up and do something about it!!!

A nice rambling, meandering blogaruu really. The effects of a long weekend, bring back the weekdays. This new song is fairly class, cool video too, 80’s vibe all the way!

Hurts – Wonderful Life