Wuu huu! I am on the dole!!! Happy, happy days! Not literally. Unfortunately. Especially as any money is good money. Figuratively, however, I am on the Bob Dole. Which is great news. Finally, finally, my simple mind has gotten it’s head around the whole patience issue. About funking time.
Earlier today, I was talking to a buddy of mine, who was telling me about his quest for the dole. I asked him was he lined up to get a big bumper lump sum, seeing as he hadn’t worked in a good while, not since leaving college. Nay, was his answer. Well, more a plain “No”. Why so, I enquired? Because… “the dole office didn’t care about me and all that time I spent bumming around, or trying other things. I only came onto their radar, when I first went into them, for my first meeting. If my application goes through, then I’ll get a lump payment from that first meeting only, not a huge lump sum stretching back any further. Until then though, I’ll try to find something else while I am waiting to hear about it.”
If it is not jumping out off the screen at you, I will explain why those words made the internal struggle in my head gently float away. To an extent. Swap the dole office with television stations I have been courting/having meetings with. Application, with t.v show proposals. And a lump sum payment, with a green light to get the project made. See, all makes tremendous sense now. If I was to burst into the dole office, work some charm, and have the initial meeting go well, they would not simply say “Good work, you convinced me, here’s a bag of money, off with ya. Good boy.” Why would the t.v station be any different? Obviously that is not how things work. My brain likes to keep this kind of sense out at times, for as long as it possibly can.
My buddy told me that the dole process alone takes about 12 weeks. To get the dole! And I am trying to get a t.v show made?! Why was I frying my brain, thinking I should be told a.s.a.p. The t.v stations have no obligation to give a flying funk, or should they even, about my lack of patience or immediate desire to get the green light. Or to find out otherwise. They don’t really care that I have been struggling away at this for a while. Why would they be bothered with the ups and downs I’ve gone through in the past however long, since the adventure started. As far as they are concerned, with regards to these proposals, I am now only just after applying, and just now on their radar!
Hopefully I’m not giving off the impression either that I thought initially – Do they not know who I am? Do they not realize the struggles I went through? They should be knocking on my door. Nay, what I am trying to say, is that I couldn’t find the patience or self awareness to realize that I just have to wait. Simple as that. My buddy isn’t tearing his hair out, or frying his head, wondering about all these outsides factors that may or may not go his way. Nothing he can do, but he wasn’t really complaining about it. Obviously he would prefer to hear that he’s getting the lump sum sooner rather than later, but, tough. Just have to wait and see.
Same goes for me. “Patience is a virtue” and all that. Virtue on! Plenty to keep me occupied while I await the verdicts. Re-writes, proposals, spec scripts, and other stuff has filled up the to-do list.
Thankfully, I realized something last night while watching the show about Graham Linehan. (Again, not comparing myself to his genius. Just that I saw similarities. Which put my mind at ease. That I was not going nuts). That is, it is not just as easy as sitting down and the episode, for example, just flows out. I need to get my head back into that creative frame of mind. However, like a pregnant woman, I am pushing hard, and can see its head popping out. A delightful visual to end on. And, in case you were wondering which friend I was on about, it is… not me.
Song of the day, two actually…
Don't Watch Me Dancing - Little Joy
Untitled - Interpol