Omerricka!

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Hollywood (Felix Da Housecat Remix) – Penguin Prison

Off the top of my head I can only think of two things: Continue Reading »

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Women Are From Nuts. Men Are From Morons!

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Sun Of A Gun – Oh Land

Tough old week. Got chased by an angry snarling Alsatian. Not sure. But. Might be related to the previous blog? Speaking of which. Quiet on the blogaruu. My bad. Very busy doing highly important things. Such as… Walking into people. Rushing for the bathroom. Power striding. Bladder bursting. In synch. Hand out. Turned the door handle. Opened the bathroom door. Foot forward. Weight forward. Unfortunately. Guy exiting at the exact same time. Door open. Foot back. Weight back. Little chap. Walked into him. Onto him. Fell. And somehow ended up pinning him down to the bathroom floor. Half holding. Half hugging. Some little chap in a cap. Trying to break his fall. More importantly, break mine. All happened quite quickly. All ended quite awkwardly. Another guy came out of a cubicle. And looked down. At us. Tut. Tough week. As I said. Busy. Realising highly important things. Such as… Continue Reading »

Fighting Mike Tyson On Mushrooms

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Hello – Martin Solveig Feat. Dragonette

LA… Mighty. Halloween… Nuts. Throw in a few Irish… Big buckets of mighty funking nuts!!! If ever you were going to visit L-Hey to see how bizarre/mighty/dancing/full-on/ape-ish/funreal/savage it actually is… Halloween all the way! Last year had me stumped for words. Arrived back here from Ireland. Straight off the plane. Threw on a red top-hat. People thought I was a banshee. And by thought I mean told. L-Hey took my mind to an orgy. Tried to blow it up. Almost fully danced away with it. Came uncomfortably close to losing it over a forgotten pair of scissors. This year… More or less the exact same. Minus jet lag. Plus a scissors. Minus being ill-prepared. Plus a gaggle of visitors from home. Along with buddies from here. The Man. The sink. The whole lot! All gathering for the perfect storm. Imagine being on mushrooms. Now imagine you’re fighting Mike Tyson. On mushrooms. Fighting Mike. All going on in the Chocolate Factory. Seeing little green and orange men running around while your senses are being pummeled from all angles. Imagine all that if you can. So. Halloween here is kind of like that. But actually maybe even harder to describe… Continue Reading »

A Jester’s Gesture

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Indian Sun – Mean Lady

Halloween truly is the mightiest of them all in L-Hey. Complete dancer of a weekend! Unfortunately. What goes up must tumble stumble and spiral all the way down. Now feeling absolutely battered. Normal blogaruu will follow along. Can barely raise a smile en ce moment. However. Poems have been oddly flowing along (Poets still are the highest paid of them all in society… Right?!) Gibber on!! Continue Reading »

Go Flow Go

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A wise old owl once told me: Go with the flow. Seeing as when you do, random, dumb fun things can happen. Friday night, prime example. Last minute, off the cuff, unexpected, unplanned. All of the above. Smattered with hype. Not the greatest night or anything. Just random and quite dumb at times. Galavants are making a comeback. Flowing, going, all the way. Amok on. If nothing else, it’ll give me a few ape soundbites…

“As I looked out the window, I thought to myself: This view is not that great to be true. A car park. I no longer believe this is the presidential suite.”

“As the convertible whizzed through the streets of L.A, I knew I had two options: Either I need to get a haircut, or the roof needs to go back up.”

“As Lindsey handed me the bottle of Crown, I wondered, what are the chances this is laced with ketamine?”

“As I woke up being pierced by the sun, I pondered… Where the funk is my everything?”

Apey mac. Go flow go… Continue Reading »

Flash Gordon

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Let’s pretend today’s Monday. Ok. Where was I… oh yeah, flashbacks have been flooding in all day. Flashes of all kinds. Time to fill in the blanks. Funny old weekend. Getting back on track. Good chunk of buddies giddied up to Coachella for the weekend. Back to my solo Joe galavanting. Turned out a treat. Not sure exactly why. I do know there shall be more solo Joe in the future though. Weekend of DJigging. More DJigs the merrier. Good for the soul. White abyss needs to be filled up. Either that. Or my glass just keeps on being refilled. DJig on. Even if it does lead me down paths full of nuts and nutters. Continue Reading »

Big Bag Of Nuts Please

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Mr Nut

Nuts. Random. Surreal. I knew L.A was all of the above. I knew this as I arrived on Saturday. I did not know that I would see a new level so soon. Kind of after blowing my mind. Only on the flight over did it sink in that I was finally going back. Realisation. Long term visa. Happy days. Probably be a bit weird to be back though after being home for a good bit. I was hoping that making the quick call to arrive back for Halloween would be a good idea. Perfect event for book purposes and all that. Although the possibility of going to the Playboy Mansion is appealing anyways, book or no book. My expectations of how events might transpire were way off. Way, way, waaaay off. The past three days have taken things up a notch. Don’t think I was ready for it. Maybe if I was settled in and had a few things organised it might be different. As it is though, fairly random. Contrasting it with Ireland. Even more so if I end getting on a private jet to Antigua today. Maybe my hangover is making me think it’s all a bit more bizarre than it actually is. Continue Reading »