Comfortably Dumb

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Sweatpants

Cause – Rodriguez

So yesterday a couple of lights, bombs, bells and whistles exploded off in my head. It’s a been a while. Epiphany on. I was talking to a guy who asked me a simple enough question:

What have you been doing lately?

Rattled off the usual replies.

This.

That.

The gibber.

Grand. As you duu. Until he asked a follow up: Continue Reading »

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Hollywood (Felix Da Housecat Remix) – Penguin Prison

Off the top of my head I can only think of two things: Continue Reading »

Women Are From Nuts. Men Are From Morons!

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Sun Of A Gun – Oh Land

Tough old week. Got chased by an angry snarling Alsatian. Not sure. But. Might be related to the previous blog? Speaking of which. Quiet on the blogaruu. My bad. Very busy doing highly important things. Such as… Walking into people. Rushing for the bathroom. Power striding. Bladder bursting. In synch. Hand out. Turned the door handle. Opened the bathroom door. Foot forward. Weight forward. Unfortunately. Guy exiting at the exact same time. Door open. Foot back. Weight back. Little chap. Walked into him. Onto him. Fell. And somehow ended up pinning him down to the bathroom floor. Half holding. Half hugging. Some little chap in a cap. Trying to break his fall. More importantly, break mine. All happened quite quickly. All ended quite awkwardly. Another guy came out of a cubicle. And looked down. At us. Tut. Tough week. As I said. Busy. Realising highly important things. Such as… Continue Reading »

Suge Knight To… Doris Day?

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Over & Over – Hot Chip

To my naked eye, it would appear that Memorial Day weekend is the time Americanos like to booze and booze until they can’t remember a thing. Thankfully, I remembered it all. Starting with Saturday night. DJigging. Mighty hoot. Until. Manager asks us to shut down the music. Crowd were going too nuts. Testosterone flying off the walls. Estrogen dominating the dance floor. Not enough security to control them. Dose. Shut down. At least we got to finish earlier than anticipated. Happy days. Celebrate on! Last call. Left the bar. Strolling home. Myself. Chowder. Ted. Trying to flag down a cab. No joy. Stroll past my old street. Old haunt at the top. Shop of Bodies. Big Jim. Head bouncer. Long time no see. Shouts over. Where’s my free book, Irish man?! Where’s my dignity, Big Jim!? Before we know it, Jim is twisting arms. Come in for a drink. Nay, not a fan any more! Twists: Free in! Ehh. Can’t remember the last time we were here actually. One drink? Why not? Never hurt anyone! Famous last words. Continue Reading »

Fighting Mike Tyson On Mushrooms

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Hello – Martin Solveig Feat. Dragonette

LA… Mighty. Halloween… Nuts. Throw in a few Irish… Big buckets of mighty funking nuts!!! If ever you were going to visit L-Hey to see how bizarre/mighty/dancing/full-on/ape-ish/funreal/savage it actually is… Halloween all the way! Last year had me stumped for words. Arrived back here from Ireland. Straight off the plane. Threw on a red top-hat. People thought I was a banshee. And by thought I mean told. L-Hey took my mind to an orgy. Tried to blow it up. Almost fully danced away with it. Came uncomfortably close to losing it over a forgotten pair of scissors. This year… More or less the exact same. Minus jet lag. Plus a scissors. Minus being ill-prepared. Plus a gaggle of visitors from home. Along with buddies from here. The Man. The sink. The whole lot! All gathering for the perfect storm. Imagine being on mushrooms. Now imagine you’re fighting Mike Tyson. On mushrooms. Fighting Mike. All going on in the Chocolate Factory. Seeing little green and orange men running around while your senses are being pummeled from all angles. Imagine all that if you can. So. Halloween here is kind of like that. But actually maybe even harder to describe… Continue Reading »

Come On Donkey!

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You know what you can’t beat? A donkey kick in the head. Particularly at 5 in the morning. Figuratively. Obviously. Kicking through a few barriers. Ploughing you on. When least expected. Wee hours of this morning. Sitting. Thinking. Still so much to do. Add layers. Do this. Do that. So much. To do. Especially the more I think about it. Keep thinking. Of how much there is to do. Nice cloud of frustration forming. Go on, wrap it around your brain. That’s the answer. That’ll get things done. Think. Think. Think. Why is it not getting done? Continue Reading »