Tropical Hayes!

Leave a comment

For reasons unknown, all names shall be culled from this blogaruu. Except for mine. I’m going full on narcissistic. Tropical Hayes all the way!

So it’s the day after Halloween. Actually, the night. Limo pulls up outside my abode. It’s time. Put on my private jet pants. Grab my bag. Scuttle out. Hop in. High fives. Hello’s it going. And we’re on our way. Bob Hope airport. Here we dumb. Get lost en route. Find it again. Arrive. Punch in a code. Drive through a gate. Get out of the car. Look at our jet. Say hi to the pilot. And just walk on. The mightiest way to travel. No lines. No queues. No security. In. On. Out. Mighty!

Must say, this jet was the best I’ve been on. Leather here. Plush there. King size bed in the back. Pardon? What do you mean? A bed? In the back? Yes. A big old bed in the back. Mile-high-ty! We sit down. Hostess brings us a round of champagne. When in a Rome… Cheers! Wheels start rolling. You’re getting comfortable. And then suddenly you’re up, up and wahey! Way faster than a regular jet. Almost goes up like an elevator. Shwooop. Air born again. New beginning. On our way to an island in the Caribbean. Pants off. Caribb on! Continue Reading »

About these ads

Phot’ho.

2 Comments

Sit Down – James

“For most writers, there is always a tension between a lived life and a life of writing.” A Hodgkinson

Fair point. So after being a hermit for a while, the past two weeks have been spent galavanting. Full. On. Fun!

Unfortunately little time spent blogaruuing. Luckily. A picture paints a thousand words. So I have developed into a photo ho. Lights. Cameras. Flashing. Helping me remember what actually happened the night before…

The Man is in town. So I took a dip in his pool…

Then I sat by the pool and had a think. Continue Reading »

How Did Stella Get Her Groove Back… ?

Leave a comment

Lisztomania (Alex Metric Remix) – Phoenix

Just got back from DJigging a big charity event. Also known as a D lister party. D-listers. D-lusters. Reality show heads. Famous ex-wives. People in commercials. Rich old men. Young empty women. Desperate older women, out looking for husbands. Empty. Vapid. Fake. Gift bags. Mighty fun! Thank funk I was DJigging. At least I discovered that romance novels are a great ice-breaker. Got home. Done. Dusted. Dancing? Eh. Nay. Kind of has me pondering. How’s my plan going? You know. Every man needs a plan, plan. So. In the past month I have:

  • Boozed
  • Danced
  • DJ’igged
  • Boozed
  • Been a single parent
  • Been a tour guide
  • Been a host
  • Boozed
  • Watched intense Harrison Ford movies
  • Watched brooding Keanu Reeves movies
  • Criticised movies I’ve never even seen
  • Boozed
  • Watched stand-up
  • Watched soccer matches
  • Played soccer matches
  • Enjoyed pool days
  • Lounged about
  • Boozed
  • Read romance novels
  • Read scripts
  • Read books about writing
  • Prepared for writing
  • Boozed
  • Ate
  • Slept
  • Flown around
  • Boozed
  • Did this
  • Did that
  • Paid rent early
  • Almost ended up being on a really big TV show
  • Went on a sunbed

Continue Reading »

Should I Call It… Why Work A Job You Don’t Even Like? Or… Are You Insane?

2 Comments


Fly With You (Benny Benassi Mix) - Chicco Secci & Graham Wheeler

Blog break for a few days. Dose. Although. Miami. Private jet. Dancing!? Betsy!

Man. Up. Stand. Up. Up. & Away!

Leave a comment

Finishing the book is the goal at the momento. The only goal. Revising, chopping, writing, editing, cluelessness… a mighty hoot! Although, I’ve realised I’m not really a fan of reading back over all my mistakes to be true, ha. Onwards and upwards. And at various points I’ve at least recognised a need to focus. Recognition. Now would be as good as any time to recognise that once more! However, New Year’s resolutions, not really a fan. Lucky if they make it out of January alive. Quickly dismissed. Fully disappear as the year goes on. Should’ve done that. Next year. Continued on for years and years. Learn Spanish? Learn a few songs on the old gee-tar? Still going strong since 1999! Wuu. Another way to fool myself. Perhaps it’s because I keep them to myself. And, as a result, less accountable for them. However, this time last year I had no blogaruu. Re de de, no little pink diary for myself. And now, I do. Duu! Continue Reading »

Owen’s Bad. You’re Worse.

Leave a comment

Herbert The Pervert

Now that I have detoxed from all the booze from the first three days, I can see the light again. About time. Ditched my enemy. Out to sabotage me. Doing his best to freak me out. Good old Owen. He did well yesterday. If Saturday to Tuesday were the best cluster of days I’ve had in L.A that I can remember, yesterday was a low point. With only one person to blame. I started looking up flights at one stage. Did not want to be here. Not on a plane either though. Didn’t really want to be anywhere. Went looking for a hole to hide in. Failed. Instead, I just did well freaking myself out. Pointlessly. I blame the gin. Continue Reading »

Enough Talk, More Writing

1 Comment

Life in L-Heeeey is weird as funk. Cool as funk but highly odd and full of nuts. As some chick told me the other night, people in LA are like granola bars…flakes, fruits or nuts. She thought I was a fruit, ha. Another odd thing is the weather, I had no idea it rained here, a lot. I thought it was always sunny in LA, must only be Philadelphia, oh Jesus. 

Saturday night was my first Hollywood party in the Hills, getting invited by 3 girls from the Valley.  Stereotypes all the way. It was fake, shallow, drunk and brilliant. Big mansion, booze was flowing, lit up pool, DJ inside, funbelievable view of the city. It was straight out of the movies, with a drunk Irish ape floating amongst it all. There were buckets of hot girls from the valley, and the owner of the house was blatantly Italian but swore he was Irish. Apparently that was his chat up line anyways. Luckily I was saved by some valley girls. Cant remember much after that, free booze and all.
 
Anyways, Im about 2 and a half weeks behind in my blog on my initial LA trip so Ill sporadically throw in a few stories of my first weird experiences when Im not so tired. Luckily Im typing for, and to, myself now, so wuu duu, L-Heeeeey all the way.  
On a minor side note, I had my first dance with frozen yogurt here today, sweet Lord its funreal. Non-fat and sugar free, tastes too good to not be bad for you. I need to check it out. I think my roommates are trying to fool a fool.