Jiggling Jugs!

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No Diggity – Chet Faker 


Tough week. Realised a few things. Such as: My ability to make women puke is still going strong. Take yesterday. Setting up to DJig. Girl comes over to me. Big. Drunk. Mexican. (Big as in overweight. Drunk as in demented. Mexican as in Meximerican.) Stands in front of me. Starts pointing. Swaying. Pointing. Slurring. ‘You’rrrre verrree goood luuk inn.’ Why thank you. Suddenly her head dips. And then she pukes all over her own feet. Delightful. Looks back up at me. Smiles. And before I could ask if she was OK, she puked again. Beautiful. Thankfully her friends carried her off (with one oddly rubbing her breasts the entire time. Giving me dirty looks when I looked at her do so. Is that a girl thing?)

More good news: My ability to make girls Continue Reading »

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Daddy Cool (Chris Moody & DJ Riz Remix) – Boney M


LADIES...

Big day. Main goal. Buy sheets for my bed. Using my hand towel as a pillow and bath towel for a blanket was getting a bit unrealistic. A damp bed is never fun. The two girls invited me along to Santa Monica to go shopping with them. Seemed they wanted to buy me a pair of proper jeans anyways. Not that they don’t like my style, I’m told. More that they just absolutely hate my jeans: Loose, not too baggy, not too skinny. Hate them with a passion. Skinny is the new look. According to them. Honestly can’t stand skinny jeans. Can’t stand comfortably in them. However. When in LA. Sell your soul. Santa Monica shopping all the way! Continue Reading »