Jewish, Single… Ready To Mingle?!

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50 Ways To Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon

Have you ever had to ask yourself: Am I anti-Semitic?

I have.

So tonight started off with myself and my buddy Chowder DJing at the London Hotel. Up on the rooftop. Pool party. Savage spot. You know the one, just featured in the last episode of Entourage where Turtle was having his business meeting. (On a side note, what has happened to that show? Or was it always dodge?!) Anyway, last pool party of the summer. Dance. On! Started off well. Setting up, this little orangey brown girl with big pikey style jewelry next to us kept shouting out song requests. Please pipe down, Snooki, give us a minute. (On another side note, have you ever seen My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding? Just realised Snooki dresses like one of those brides. Good work all round). Pretty soon she was carted off by her minders, music gets going. Free booze for the first hour. Place is soon packed. Not a bad night’s work. Until we realise there’s something weird going on. Large group gathered next to us. Almost all women. All mingling about. All stopping and staring when walking past the DJ booth. Hmmm. Something’s up. Continue Reading »

Santa Touched Me. Felt. Liked. Christmas!

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If It Wasn’t For You – Various Cruelties

Dark. Dreary. Drab. Depressing. Dire. Dismal. Doleful. Dreadful. Downer. Dose. Big bulbous buckets of gushing water. Tut. The week before Christmas the rain held a reign of terror over L.A. Brutal. In every way. I know. But it did. People can’t cope. Simply melt away at the sight of rain. Panic kicks in. Folk freak out. Mighty fun really. Particularly the week before Christmas. The week when the fun and anticipation is meant to be kicking in. The week when the Christmas spirit is mean’t to be freaking you out! In a good way. Instead. Just surrounded by wet moaning non-believers (in Christmas). Kind of weird too seeing as Christmas is full on advertised everywhere. TV non-stop. Every show has a Christmas special. Every shop has a Christmas sale. Every person… Doesn’t really give a hoot aboot it. Almost everyone anyways. Almost all Americans at least. Europeans were believers. Just surrounded by non. Asked an American buddy if he was looking forward to his Christmas dinner… Dinner? I’ll eat dinner when I’m hungry I guess. A burger or something? I don’t know. What do you mean? Oh Jesus. Christmas buzz, in full swing! Closest it felt to being like Christmas in any way was when I accidentally knocked over the Christmas tree in the foyer of my building. Lugging in DJ gear out of the rain. Wet shoes. Wet leaf. Wet floor. Slip. Catch. Bag. Balls. Fall. Tree. Fall. Catch. Ish. Christmas balls. Everywhere. Picked it up and danced on as quick as a can. And you know how quick cans can dance! No harm done. Just my composure. Shhh. And so this was Christmas… ? Continue Reading »