Obeasts!

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Learning To Fly – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers


Close my eyes. Time to sleep through this flight. Eyes shut for a minute. Mambo  number five in the aisle bounces off my head. Wakes me up. See something white on my pants as I open my eyes. Oh God. What was I dreaming about? No, this is a small thing. Pick it up. A mint. More to the point, a wet mint. By the looks of it, just fell out of someone’s mouth and onto my lap. Nelly to my right sneezes again. Plane hits a pocket of turbulence. Mambo bounces off me again. See now that it is her ass hitting off me. Feels slightly moist as it bounces off the side of my face. Wet, like the mint. Maybe sweat? Who knows, who cares?

And so began my wonderful flight home to Ireland. For some reason I am unsure of now, I did not Continue Reading »

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RanDumber Hardback: Oooh yeaah!
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RanDumber UK: Go Here!
RanDumb US: Click!
RanDumb UK: Giddy Up!

Closing Credits – Mason Daring


BAAAaack In The US-Wahey, I Am…

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Born In The USA – Bruce Springsteen


Back in LA-wahey wuu huu! Mighty quick trip back to Ireland. Nice if it was longer but what can you duu? I came. I kissed. I conquered. Castles. Stones. Mead. The whole shebang. Weddings. Whistles. Wallops. Some hoot. Even had the odd owl. Speeches. Stand-up. Sheep. Good bit to catch up on in the old blogaruu. Need a day or two to let it percolate in my brain. Until then, how about an article I wrote for a Sunday newspaper this week. Life of a Chancer. Read. On. Continue Reading »

Ode My God…

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Assassin’s Tango – John Powell


Sweet Lord. Would you look at this. A mighty RanDummy (@Janebustard) has written a gem all about RanDumb. Some odyssey. Ode on!

An Ode to RanDumb… 

Have you ever heard of Mark Hayes?
He’s an Irish guy, lives in LA.
He’s a writer of note
And I’d give him my vote
And his third book is now underway.
**
Mark Hayes has a talent you see
He is charming as well, you’ll agree.
He can DJig it too
And do stand up, it’s true
He’s a man of all talents is he.
**
So he started a blog on the net
Making notes, so he wouldn’t forget
All the things that he did
Trying to earn a few quid
And the oddest of people he’d met.
**
Mark’s blog got the name “Trickaduu”
Where’d that come from? I haven’t a clue…
It’s a pretty cool name
And deserves some acclaim
As do all Mark’s wee sayings, like “Duu”.
**
Moving on to Mark’s mighty first book
It’s called RanDumb, you must take a look
You will love it I’m sure
When you’ve read it, you’ll whure…
Or start talking Mark’s gobbledegook!!! Continue Reading »

RanDumber. Out Now. Free Book! Happy St. Pa’Tricks Day!

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Come On Eileen – Dexy’s Midnight Runners


I am quite giddy and also quite tired but both and neither matter. What matters is that RanDumber being available to buy online on Paddy’s Day is now a reality. Oh. Betsy. Dancing! Some day! HAPPY ST. PA’TRICKS HAYES ALL THE WAY!!!

As it stands, it’s available to buy on Amazon.com so far. You. Fecking. Beauty.

If you would like to get the ball rolling and snap a mighty copy up -> GO HERE!

For all the mighty Kindle readers out there -> GO HERE NOW!

Kindle folk in the UK -> YEE HUU!

In celebration of such a mighty occasion, RanDumb (rated #1 on Amazon Humor) shall be free for three days! If you would like that for  free-> GO HERE!

In case you were wondering, a mighty introduction was written by… Well just have a look and see. Duu. For now, I must sleep a bit. Did I tell you I saw Jerry Seinfeld in stand-up a few hours ago. What a show. What a man! Genius. Mighty to see. That is the bar. Could this day be any better?!! I’ll shall be back later with more gibber and a video to boot too. Wuu. Huu. Now go: Pants. Off. Read. On!!!!

Celebration – Kool & The Gang


#16 – Steak Joke

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Need You Tonight – Inxs


Alright. Calm down. Part III on the way. Tad busy today. Until my write is on, why not laugh heartily along to some steak humour: Joke of the Day – Wahey!

Read My First Wonderful Book – RanDumb: GO HERE!