Weekend at Bernie’s

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Running Up That Hill (Louis La Roche Remix) – Kate Bush

Some things in L.A appear will never change. Not unless I do, anyway. Such as, people calling me by the wrong name over and over. Ever growing list at this stage. The usuals still apply. Merrick. Eric. Omar. Moved on a lot to Merk. Murk. Maaaaarrrk. Sometimes when I say my full name I get mistaken for a Mexican guy named Marquez. And then at one point someone working at Coffee Bean thought my name was America. Combination of being asked a question by two people at the same time: ‘Your name… Merrick?’ ‘So a large coffee?’ Eh, Mark – Yeah… ‘Coffee for America!’ Although another time I asked for coffee recently I got the reply: ‘Cathy? I’m not too sure. Let me check – Hey guys, does a Cathy work here? Sorry man, no Cathy.’

So that was fun.

Considering all of the name confusion that has already occurred due to my accent and mumbles (along with everyone in L.A having lazy ears, tut), I was still a bit surprised about my name morphing earlier on today: Continue Reading »

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Bang. Bang. Ba. Ng.

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Roxanne – Strange Talk

Birthday. Birthmonth. Bert on! Beach. Party. Celebration. Malibu. Malibooze. Maliboobs! Paradise. Cove. Kaw. Bird. Shrimp. Wine. Cocktails. Lounge chairs. Hi life. Hello living. Drink. Glass. My. Hand. Gulp. Pause. Laugh. Another drin- Plop. Huh? Seagull. Kaw. Kaw. KAAWW! Flying. Attacking. Dropping. Dumping. Plopping. Into. Glass. Hand. Mine. Dunk. Lucky? Me!

So that was a fun birthday. Speaking of… Continue Reading »

Pre-Paradise Prambles…

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Man On Fire – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

Not sure where my dose of self-diagnosed claustrophobia came from exactly. Maybe from when I was in fifth class in primary school. And for some reason a group of us were put in class with people in sixth class. The Special Ones, as we called ourselves. Too smart for fifth class! As a result, we were let run free on Continue Reading »

Sheep. Strawberries. And. Pat.

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Chigadaging – Ukulélé Club de Paris

“It’s just great that you’re back!”

Yeah, mighty!

“How was the flight? What did you eat? Have you eaten? What would you like to eat? I have chicken, turkey, ham, steak-“

Mum…

“Oh right, something healthier? I have salad, salmon, sea bass-“

No, Mum… Mum.

“We could get something else if you lik-“

MUUUUUMMMMAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!

And with that my Mum drove straight through the barrier in the airport car park. Continue Reading »

Obeasts!

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Learning To Fly – Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Close my eyes. Time to sleep through this flight. Eyes shut for a minute. Mambo  number five in the aisle bounces off my head. Wakes me up. See something white on my pants as I open my eyes. Oh God. What was I dreaming about? No, this is a small thing. Pick it up. A mint. More to the point, a wet mint. By the looks of it, just fell out of someone’s mouth and onto my lap. Nelly to my right sneezes again. Plane hits a pocket of turbulence. Mambo bounces off me again. See now that it is her ass hitting off me. Feels slightly moist as it bounces off the side of my face. Wet, like the mint. Maybe sweat? Who knows, who cares?

And so began my wonderful flight home to Ireland. For some reason I am unsure of now, I did not Continue Reading »

This Is A Trailer… HAHAHAHAHAHAW

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RanDumber Hardback: Oooh yeaah!
RanDumber US: Buy It!
RanDumber UK: Go Here!
RanDumb US: Click!
RanDumb UK: Giddy Up!

Closing Credits – Mason Daring