Free The RanDumber Chapter – Yee Huu!

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Because The Night – Patti Smith

Chapter 19

First. Ever. Shhh…

Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of the crust? The heel. You know, the start and end parts of a loaf of bread. Whichever name you want to call that rose. Lot of folk don’t like it at all. But I’m a fan. Particularly when it’s toasted. Tasty. As. Funk!

So when I went to prepare a celebratory meal for myself last night, I did not mind that all I had left was one slice of bread crust. Horsed it into the toaster. Checked the fridge. What else do I have for this fine meal? Hmm. Fridge. Bare. Naked. Tut. Although, I do have two baby tomatoes left. Wonderful. Anything else? Sniff. Balls. Toast. Burning. Burnt. Ah Jiminy. Not to worry, I shall make do. Nothing can sour this mighty celebration!

In the end, I had: One burnt slice of toast. Two sliced tomatoes. And. A glass of gin, to wash it all down. Mmhmmm. Tasty. Horsed it into me. Two bites. Two chugs. Gone. Quite the feast. Quite the celebrations. Standing in my kitchen. Alone. In my underwear. Betsy. Momentous occasion! Rejoice! Could’ve been a burnt sock for all I care. Especially as moments earlier I had finally finished a full draft of my first ever book. Wuu huu!

Rambling. Boney. Skeleton. The first draft.

According to Hemingway: The shit one.

Or as a clown might say: Continue Reading »

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WINDLE! (Win A Kindle. Thank You.)

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Flagpole Sitta – Harvey Danger

Mighty times, blogaruu readers. Competition. Christmas. Santa. Baby. Jingles. All that horse gibber. Slightly earlier than originally planned but I forgot how dodge posting things is this time of year. Better if the winner gets it in time for Jesús’ birthday.

Anyway, up for grabs for one mighty blogaruu reader is une mighty: KINDLE 4!

Amazing.

Not the fancy Fire but as a wise owl once said:

Better than a kick in the Christmas balls.

Three ways you can enter: Continue Reading »

Wingless Wonder

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My ability to blogaruu is currently being hampered by other projects. And perhaps a 3-day hangover to boot. Ugh boots off. Projects on! Good few stories building too. Laziness is a divil. Go on the VIP at the Lakers! She shall come. For now. Pod on, pod on, pod on pod on pod on pod on pod ooooon, p-p-p-pod on…

Hearing Haze: Episode 6 – Wingless Wonder!
(Right click to download! iPod on!)

Man Made Mermaid

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Feed a man a fish. Feed him for a day.

Teach a man how to be  a fish. Funk him up for life.

Until he meets a mermaid.

And speaking of which… Why are there never any overweight mermaids?

Just two wonderful thoughts I had time to mull over this weekend. Quite the weekend. Five wonderful DJigging gigs somehow all fell through/got pushed back/evaporated. Mighty stuff. Ted Danson. Dancing on. On the upside. Slipped on my hibernation slippers. Read two books. Watched a few DVDs. Wrote out a couple of mighty proposals! Work to be done. So time to go duu. Short and brief. Pod-g on… Continue Reading »

Pod On. Pod On. Pod-On Pod-On Pod-On…

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Having slight technical difficulties with le podcasts. As in they keep deleting themselves for some fun, computer freezing reason. Huge numbers have being tuning in  too! I think. Go on the pod. Peas in a panther. Ehh… Yeah. Part 2 on… Continue Reading »

Hearing Haze!

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Like all good teachers, Sex Boy Dave reminded me of a valuable lesson on Wednesday… People love free stuff! Sexy Boy Dave being a comedian at stand-up the other night. Obviously. Self-claimed self-made millionaire. Selling sex toys online. Unfortunately for Sex Boy Dave, everything I have wrote so far is at least thrice as funny as his brutally cocky act. Brutal. Still though, in fairness to him, he did remind me that people are big fans of free. But while Sex Boy Dave finally managed to get himself a few cheers by handing out various sex toys from his website at the end of his act, my free gift is more aural pleasure for your ears. Tut. My bad. New member to the online media familia… Blogaruu… Vlogaruu… And now… Podaruu! Free chapters from my book. In the shape of podcasts! Aural on! Name of the podcast shall be ‘Hearing Haze… Not just a phase!’ Now you can download and listen to my gibber on the go. iPods on. Mighty. Wuu huu! Sex Boy Dave… Nada on my gift!  So without any further a duu, my first attempt. Tad rough. Rambling. But a mighty little beast!!! Perk up an ear. Listen on… Continue Reading »