My McRib

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All Night Long – Lionel Richie

It’ll be all white on the night! Ha ha, should be good all right. We’ll be dancing all night long (all night), all night long (all night)!¬†One of the downsides of booking me to DJ a big White Party is that those phrases will keep popping out of my mouth leading up to it. Pop on.

So it’s Labor Day. End of the summer. Bank holiday weekend. Sunday night. Big party. And I’m DJigging classic Irish folklore songs. Put on my finest whitest rags. Pack up my equipment. Stroll up the ridiculously steep street I live on. And I’m at the SkyBar. Ready to go. I kind of got ready really quickly just before I was meant to be there so didn’t cop on that I was in all white. Looking very tampon like. Not my normal attire. Enter through the velvet rope. Meet the manager. Asks me if I’m pumped. I pretend I am. Informs me it’s going to be a huge party. One of their big three. Halloween. Christmas. White Party. Oh right. So it’s going to be a big one? Oh right. Dance on!

Early start. Nine bells. Not expecting it to be busy. Poolside looking very dapper dressed in white. White flowers floating in the pool. Savage view of all of L.A sparkling over the side. All very decadent. Top bar is looking cool. Staff all in white too. Looking sharp. Or glamorous. Depending on their chromosomes.

Set up. Plug in. Good to go. Just keep it chilled for the first two hours I’d say. Parties are notorious for getting going late here. Start late. End early. The two o’clock cut-off time is still one of L.A’s worst flaws. Anyway… And a one and a two and away we go! Music. On.

Two songs in, Continue Reading »

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Jiggling Jugs!

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No Diggity РChet Faker 

Tough week. Realised a few things. Such as: My ability to make women puke is still going strong. Take yesterday. Setting up to DJig. Girl comes over to me. Big. Drunk. Mexican. (Big as in overweight. Drunk as in demented. Mexican as in Meximerican.) Stands in front of me. Starts pointing. Swaying. Pointing. Slurring. ‘You’rrrre verrree goood luuk inn.’ Why thank you. Suddenly her head dips. And then she pukes all over her own feet. Delightful. Looks back up at me. Smiles. And before I could ask if she was OK, she puked again. Beautiful. Thankfully her friends carried her off (with one oddly rubbing her breasts the entire time. Giving me dirty looks when I looked at her do so. Is that a girl thing?)

More good news: My ability to make girls Continue Reading »

Clean Up That Mess

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Earlier today I saw a good enough quote. Something like… “Being happy is a habit. Unfortunately so is being sad. Choose one.” Something like that. So good that I can’t even remember it fully. I remember the gist. Which got me thinking. About what it is I have been choosing lately. Not between happy or sad. Who would choose to be sad? However, then again, who would choose to be a bit of a mess. To be all over the place. Unfocused. Disorganised. Not exactly where you want to be. Constantly catching up. Scraping in the door. Disappointed in one’s performance. Disappointed in oneself. Being tapped on the shoulder by the fear on a Sunday night. Well, apparently, if you haven’t already guessed where I’m going with this, I kind of have being choosing this of late. Maybe not on purpose. Subconsciously. Generally, a bit of a mess. Continue Reading »