So There I Was… P’Peuu Pe’Peww!

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Got Some Teeth – Obie Trice


So there I was… DJigging. Rodeo Drive. Ivanka Trump party. Showcasing her new jewelry collection. Diamonds crusts everywhere. Swanky. Classy. Plus. Me. Suited. Booted. Looking slick at least. Kitted out in my mighty Reiss suit. Perk of DJigging fashion events. Free clothes! Dancing. Although. Tad tight. Slim-fit-as-funk kind of tight suit. Anyways. Setting up for the party. Women dressed up to the nines. Older guys itching to drop big wads of cash on their younger wives. All busy around me. People coming and going. Commotion. Just about to start. Corner of my eye. See a woman about to knock a speaker over. Oh balls. Knock. Speaker. Wobble. I jump. Catch the almost stricken speaker. Avert the mishap. Contort my body weirdly. Bend in some sort of way. Make a belly for myself. Making my pants erupt. Explode out. Mid-drift turns into a gun-toting cowboy. Feel something fly off. Clasp bit that looks like a staple… Ping! Bullet out of a gun. P’peuu pe’peww!! Strikes a woman’s wrist. Slow motion. Matrix style. Ricochets off the $10,000 bracelet she’s showcasing. Apologies, Ivanka. Continue Reading »

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And Now… Balls

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In Love, Not Limbo – Of Oceans


Usually, around this time of year, you might hear the following conversation…

Brida -
Seamas -
How orr you?
Era shur…
Gearing up for the holidays?
Era shur…
Ah to be sure?
Era shur.
Divil a bit, divil a bit.

So usually you would hear that conversation an awful lot. However. Not the case in L.A. Two reasons: Continue Reading »