PreDumb Chapter – Hairdresser Hayes

2 Comments

Screen shot 2014-02-22 at 3.55.13 PM

Hairdresser Hayes

I had been dreading going into fifth year purely down to Dirk coming to stay with me. The German students were due back for two weeks at the start of October for their portion of student exchange. At least we got two weeks off class at the start of the year to go do more work experience.

Despite the fact I was now sixteen, meant to be more mature and entering an important year of school, dossing off class was always a highly attractive incentive. Still, the thought of hanging around with Dirk and having him in my house was depressing. If only I had a secret indoor pool and gym area to keep hidden from him. Alas, I didn’t. The gods did smile down on me though.

Two weeks before they were due to arrive our German teacher Ms. O’ Golden informed me that Dirk had failed his summer exams and his repeats. This would mean Dirk had to repeat the entire year. He wouldn’t be able to come stay with me in Ireland.

“What? Seriously? No way!”

Did a victory lap of the classroom in celebration. Couldn’t believe my luck. The Mirk and Dirk Show had been canceled!

Ms. O’ Golden waited until I calmed down before telling me another boy had asked to take his place, Marcus.

“Oh yeah, I remember him. He got us tickets to the soccer game.”

Marcus reminded me a bit of Barney, the purple dinosaur children’s character. Tall and goofy, with a big fluffy head of light brown hair that just bobbed around as he spoke with a smile.  Good laugh when I met him that time at the soccer game before. Still though, do I want him staying with me?

“So would you mind if he stayed with you instead? It’s up to you entirely, you’re not obliged.”

“In that case I would mind. I prefer to have no one stay with me.”

Very particular, at the time. Liked to Continue Reading »

About these ads

I Shot The Sheriff…

3 Comments

Angelina/Zooma Zooma – Louis Prima

Blog. Book. Sitcom. Movie. You know the plan! Time to get phase three in action. So I write a script. Pick a scene. Let’s shoot that. What do I need? Director? Sorted. Cast? Dancing. Location? Hmm. Actually. How about the Irish coffee shop down the street from me? Especially as the script is called the Irish Coffee Shop. Down I go. Talk to the owner. They agree. Just pay a fee. Oh. Yeah. No worries. Good to go. And we’re on the road! Continue Reading »

Weekend at Bernie’s

Leave a comment

Running Up That Hill (Louis La Roche Remix) – Kate Bush

Some things in L.A appear will never change. Not unless I do, anyway. Such as, people calling me by the wrong name over and over. Ever growing list at this stage. The usuals still apply. Merrick. Eric. Omar. Moved on a lot to Merk. Murk. Maaaaarrrk. Sometimes when I say my full name I get mistaken for a Mexican guy named Marquez. And then at one point someone working at Coffee Bean thought my name was America. Combination of being asked a question by two people at the same time: ‘Your name… Merrick?’ ‘So a large coffee?’ Eh, Mark – Yeah… ‘Coffee for America!’ Although another time I asked for coffee recently I got the reply: ‘Cathy? I’m not too sure. Let me check – Hey guys, does a Cathy work here? Sorry man, no Cathy.’

So that was fun.

Considering all of the name confusion that has already occurred due to my accent and mumbles (along with everyone in L.A having lazy ears, tut), I was still a bit surprised about my name morphing earlier on today: Continue Reading »

You’re F**King Joking Me?

Leave a comment

What’s Going On? – Marvin Gaye

So the other day I got this wonderful letter in the post from a blogaruu reader which I thought I would reply to…

‘Howdy,

Just wanted to say great hair! Also. What have you been up to lately?

Goodbye for now,

Murk Waters.’

Howdy yourself, Murk Waters, great to hear from you. Thanks for the hair compliment too, very kind. I’m sure you’ve a fine flowing fro yourself as well. Actually, did I tell you I recently got a haircut? Here’s a photo some clown took of it… Continue Reading »

Me. Naked. Leprechaun.

5 Comments

Lord of the Dance – Enya

Oh Betsy. RanDumber is out. People are buying her. And she is being read. What a day. All together now… Mighty!!! To celebrate, here’s some video gibber…

Also, just found out someone has now leaked the first five chapters in total. What what?! For feck’s sake… Might as well read seeing that they’re out there.

Read the first five chapters of RanDumber -> CLICK!

If you’d like to buy RanDumber -> SNAP HER UP!

For the Kindle -> SNAP ON!

For those in the UK -> GIDDY UP!

Finally, RanDumb is free for the next three days > WEE HUU!

The Irish Rover – The Pogues & The Dubliners

Watch Me Wow!

2 Comments

Short film of Randumb book whuring at the LA Book Festival. Mighty dancing. Imagine: This went on for hours! Amazing. Filum on!

P.S Apparently you can call anything a short film these days.

If The Mountain Won’t Come To The Prophidiot…

4 Comments

Woke Up New – Mountain Goats

You know when you’re lost in a valley of mountains. You’re standing at the foot of one of the mountains. And you’re all like… What the funk?! I just climbed a mountain. Seriously. Just did it. Look! And everyone looks as you point to the smaller mountain behind you… Now you’re telling me I have to climb this one as well? This is even bigger too! From the very bottom? All the way to the top again? For funk’s sake. I thought that first mountain might’ve been enough? Surely that’s plenty? Just retire after that? No? It’s not?! For funk… Who’s in charge of this bull-sugar?! Tut. Someone promised me it would be easier than this. Tut. So you decide you’re just going to stand there. Looking at the mountain. Mouth open. Head cocked to the side. Tuting away. King Tut. Waiting for something to appear. Anything at all. Until nothing does. So you just start climbing up again… Continue Reading »