Victim Hayes

Leave a comment

Lights And Music – Cut Copy

Not sure where newspapers get photos of me. An educated guess is that they pull them out of a bag of cats. Photos with both my eyes closed. One just after a soccer match, panting, sweating, looking with one wonky eye. The most recent one has me looking like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. Remember, he was a blind, feeble old man? Well, just like that except I also look like I’m sitting in a wheelchair. Don’t get my wrong, delighted with newspapers picking up on my current ranking of being rated #1 on the Amazon Humour charts. Obviously. Just a pity they don’t ask for a photo. Anything at all. Potentially, I’m better looking than that. No, no: Seriously. In the right light. With the right make-up. And the right amount of airbrushing. I’m fairly sure I can scrub up better than that. I swear. Ah stop… Continue Reading »

About these ads

#1

7 Comments

You Can Call Me Al – Paul Simon

So this is pretty mighty…

You know what this means, right?

I now win a million dollars! Wuu huu!

Right?

Huh?

Ahem.

Dance on! Book two all the way!!!

Keeping The Dream Alive – Munchener Freiheit

Short Short Feature Length Short Filum!

4 Comments

Always On The Run – Yuksek

Last night. Out for dinner. Cecconis. Savage. Banter flowing. Gibbering on about pinned on pony tails popping off or something. Waiter comes to take our order. Time for me to make two calls. First one, mighty: Octopus. Unreal. If ever you go, order the octopus. Betsy. Then, not so mighty: Ordered an espresso martini. DJing all day. Needed a kick. Oh, these are unreal. Have another one? One more? One for the road maybe? And so on. Filling me to the brim with caffeine. Keeping me buzzed all night. Lying in bed. No hope of sleeping. Staring at the ceiling. Goats? Tweaking. Espresso and martini racing through my body. Some. Hoot.

As a result, I got about four wonderfully horrendous hours of sleep. Leaving me depleted today. Walked some errands. Forgot to go to the gym. Ate some food. Non-existant day of writing. Dose. Tut. Need to do something. I know… Why not gibber out my new old idea? You know… Start shooting scenes and the likes once I finish writing this wonderful sequel which you are so eagerly awaiting! Ahem. Get back on the horse. Jump in. How bad could it be?! Ha. Well. Pretty bad, is the answer there I do believe. (Still trying to figure out my hand situation?) Productive day! Short Short Feature Length Short Filum all the way. Oscar. On!!!

Rum’N’ Cocaah Cola – Tim Tim

New Free Book Chapter!

Leave a comment

Who Are You? – The Who

You know what’s mighty: RanDumb’s now rated #2 on the Amazon Humour charts. Oh. Betsy!

You know what’s not so mighty: Toothaches. Almost sent me back to Ireland yesterday. Just so I could go home and hide in my bed until the pain was over. I know, my threshold is high. Praise the Lord for booze. Kill those wisdom germs.

You know what’s weird: When you go to the bathroom and a fly just lands on your, eh, um, ahem. And then stays there. While you’re mid-stream. Pre-tty odd. Must be some sort of omen. Lots of spillage. And this is a great story! Thank you.

To celebrate all of the above happening yesterday, I’m going to horse out a probable preview free chapter teaser from my highly anticipated new book…

‘Hubbulla!’*

*May not be the actual name.

I’m going to try a little experiment as well for a few days. To read the PDF of the sample chapter ‘Choking The Chicken’ all you have to do is simply click on the link below and Tweet or Facebook that you just downloaded it. Pre-tty easy! I think. Let’s see how it goes. First draft too. Go easy on her. Now… Chicken on!!!

Or if you can’t figure out how to Tweet, click here -> Duu?

Shuffle – Bombay Bicycle Club

Backsplash Flashback

Leave a comment

Climbing Up The Walls – Strange Talk

Bobby Beard. Nobby No Beard. Polly and Esther. Spanish Dexter (Spandex). Vinnie ‘The Straight’ Sanchez. Amazing week. Concocted some amount of new characters to talk to in my head. Some gibber. Speaking of which, Saturday night was amazing. In the sense it was the first Saturday in donkeys that I didn’t DJig. Night off. Oh Betsy. Even better, mighty party to go to. Buddy’s one year wedding anniversary. Up in the hills. Out the back of his mighty garden. Chandeliers dangling from trees. Lights sparkling in the bushes. All done up. Looking savage. Tables. Bar. Music. Food. Party on! Told it was a casual affair. Dress casually. OK. Show up. Everyone else more or less suited and booted. Mighty. Oh yeah. It was casual. But then I just found out it’s kind of formal too. Ah you’ll be grand!

Savage party in fairness. Host happens to have just arrived back from a musical tour of Europa. Watched a bit of footage of that. Looked beyond unreal. Funreal unreal. Singing in front of 70,000+ people must be some buzz. Mental stuff. Must admit I’m looking forward to doing my stand-up stadium tour even more after watching it. You know, once this book is finished and all. Obviously. Here’s an amazing photo showing me having an amazing time… Continue Reading »

Planet Bluto

Leave a comment

Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode

Quite clearly you do not want to hear what’s it been like down the writing well this week. How one kind of goes slightly mental down there. In my defence, I am spending a lot of time with myself. In my head. Alone. Me and Irene. Cackling away. My gibber can be hard to handle at times. Imagine when it’s all the time? Dose.

Also, I am quite sure you do not want to hear about a few slick DJigs this week. Pool parties. Rooftops. Savage spots. Fun all round. Giddy up that green honey. Here is a tremendous photo encapsulating how tough DJigging can be at times… Continue Reading »