Make Art! So… We Did.

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Time (We Plants Are Happy Plants Remix) – Hans Zimmer


Once again, my bad. Blogaruu has been on the back of milk cartons. Search parties were out. Knocking on doors. Week on the missing list. Mighty news… She’s finally returned! Wuu huu, says you. Welcome home you ape! In a feeble attempt to make up for the lack of, here are a few drip drops of names. She has been a while! Fussball has been a random old hoot lately. Woody Harrelson has now joined the ranks for 5-a-side. Sound man. Chilled beyond belief. Asked him if he read the copy of my book that I gave him before… ‘Book? (Puzzled look) What book man? Oh… The book down my pants?! That was down my pants for 3 hours man! I remember the book!’… Oh yeah?! What do you think of i… ‘Who has that book now man? Someone took it off me. I’d like to keep reading it. Who took it? Where is that man?’ Oh. Right. Someone else has it? Cheers boss. (Woody’s loss!? Obviously highly gutted. I could tell. I swear). More drips… Had a dancing game of 5-a-side tonight against the band Muse. Who were not amused at all. Seeing as our team was invincible. Controlled the game. Like Knights of Cydonia. We were victorious. Can’t think of any more lyrics. So. Ehh. Gibber on… Continue Reading »

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Enough Talk, More Music!!!

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My plan for the weekend: Write. Big bucket load. That’s it. Back on the horse. Giddy back up. Stream of consciousness. Gibber on. Ramble. Flow. Let’s go! All that. So that was the plan! Pumped! Write on! Wuu! Here’s what I did instead… 

Friday: Somehow somewhere at some point in the night I lost my ATM card. Dose. Realised this aboot 5 in the morn. On the phone until 7 to my bank trying to cancel my card. Finally canceled my card. Slept. Woke up. Found my card. Wuu.

Saturday: Productivity highlight was probably gibbering together this joke: What do you call an old guy who scores 3 goals in a game… ? Jerry hat trick! Oh Jesus. Worked out a new stand-up angle: Fairy tales gone wrong… Tales from a fairy!!!

Sunday: Bought a bulb. (That’s today’s highlight… ? Yes. Well done. Thank you).

Quite an amazing weekend of writing. Brutal beyond belief! On the upside, the bulb is for my desk light. Light back on… Write back on?! Hopefully it’ll be better than this muck. Muck on. Better than none!?! Anyways, enough talk, more music! Continue Reading »

Haaaay Maker…

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Days. Some people are not fans of certain ones. Monday gets a bad doing. Harsh enough. Basically you’ve cut that day loose. You and that day are now kind of goosed. Never going to get on. I’m actually a fan of Mondays. Recent ones anyways. Some spent on yachts. Others spent on jets. How bad. Thank you. Giddy up. Will do. So usually I am a fan. However, this week’s Monday, as in good old yesterday, maybe not so much. Maybe this week’s Monday woke up,  put on its wife beater vest, had a smoke, drank a case of Stella Artois and then tried to beat me down with as many dumb drunk punches as it possibly could. Oh Monday… Continue Reading »

Ehh. We Need To Walk…

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Laziness truly is the root of all evil. No doubt this has been gibbered out before. Along with logic, I think. Being a procrastinating ape. Issues with my gibber. Plenty more. All obvious flaws. Back to laziness. Me being it. September last year. 7 blogaruus were churned out by this date. This year, half that. Limp half. Shocking, I know. Oh no, less blogs, how does the world still spin, you ape… says you. OH MY GOD, I ACTUALLY DON’T KNOW, IT’S FREAKING ME OUT!… says I. Oh Jesus. Tonight I realised one reason why this has been happening. Lately, less time has been spent alone, doing nothing, not thinking about stuff. Meaning less time for loose strings of gibber to piece themselves together, out of the sea of muddle in my head. Ideas no longer loosely mapped out before I sit down to write. Meaning spending time stringing gibber and less time writing. As I then see that it’s 4 in the morning. Laziness. Tiredness. Both kick me in the head. Sleep is on. Blog off. Tut tut. King Tut. And I’m then dumbly annoyed at myself the next day. Circle of dumbness. Two things I’m doing far less: Showering. And. Walking. Continue Reading »

Enough Talk, More Music!!!

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DJigging can be quite perky. Lately I’ve been getting a fair bit of stuff. Free stuff. Wallets. Bags. Runners. Jeans. T-shirts! Perk up. Free on! Between you and I, I also got something else recently… No, not one of them… Merely a brain cloud. Wuu! I joke. Not a fan. Gladly swap for an hour long brain freeze. Not sure where it came from. Happy out, out of the blue, cloudy inside. Foggy kind. Muggy. Muddy. Murky. What what?! Just got all this new free stuff? I mean… T-shirts?! My old flame! My former crack! And yet this cloud is here? Think. New stuff. Everyone likes new stuff! Also have new projects to start on. Just now starting to start them properly. Come on brain, think you whur- Actually… Could it be a… Cloud of uncertainty? Maybe. But why so… ? Well… You must really start those new projects. All spec. From scratch. And you do know that you won’t see bears or their fruit for a few months at least. Oh hello penny… Bears… Fruit… Always hopeful they’ll come quickly. Tut. Not how it works. Balls. Not… Patience time? Self motivate time? All that easier said than done gibber? It is? Balls! Alright. Head down. Discipline on. Not that you can complain either… I know… Projects on! Certainty lives in new t-shirts every week land. But at least the cloud was figured out. Rooted out. Light shining. Fog lifted. Now cleared. Projects started. Some people battle a boss. Others battle their brains. And I did get a mighty silver lining reminder… Unless your head is dancing in Larry land, stuff is pre-tty pointless. Happy always trumps stuff. Which is an amazing revelation. I know! Enough of this gibber. Feel free to leave any comments, tuts, curses, ungrateful ape, give me that stuff so and so forth, below. Anyways, enough talk, more music! Continue Reading »

The Death Of Pointless Notes

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Two age old conundrums which have confused apes for never: Which is more important, petrol or cake? Tough one. Good one. And the other… What does a bucket and a chariot have in common? That is a tad easier. Starts with an M and ends with an ape. Wuu. Lucky them! If you have been reading my gibber since way back when – when what? – or one of the hundreds of thousands of people to have read my book of gibber, you might remember my love affair with… The Bucket. Remember. Shudder. The One. Heartbreak. Ridicule. Agony. Frustration. Sadness. Despair. Delighted. Well, delighted when I eventually sold my old truck and stopped going on and on and on about it. My old truck which looked like a rusty old bucket. Smelt like fake tan.  Kept breaking down. Which is the technical term for when you run out of petrol. Yes indeed, I am that clueless. Well, was that clueless. Slightly better now. Although this gibber begs to differ… Continue Reading »